Proverbs are common in our culture. We see them used all over social media as a way to quickly prove a point, in marketing and advertising campaigns, or even as a way to make a statement on life. They can be effective because they are easy to digest, simple to understand, snappy, and have an air of “truth”.
However, what proverbs fail to do is provide context or a fuller view of the opinion at hand. Their simplicity and vague nature present as a “this is an obvious statement”, which can interrupt our desire to explore its value further.
Some very simple examples include: “Birds of a feather flock together”, “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” If you’re following “spirituality” or “psychology” accounts on a social media, you’ve probably seen more complex versions of the examples above. Each fit the attributes discussed - they are straightforward, easy to digest, and appear to be “true”.
The reason we’ve included the topic of proverbs in shadow work is because we want part of this exploration to be about becoming more critical - not just about what’s happening inside, but outside as well. There are many people/institutions wanting to influence the way we think, feel, behave and believe. The more we can recognize this, question what is being offered and connect with our own truth instead, the less susceptible we will be.
When you’re evaluating the relevancy of these snappy, simple statements consider the following:
Is extreme or final language being used i.e. “never”, “always”, “has to be”, “the most”? For example “Intuition is the single most powerful tool we possess”, or “Growth never happens in the comfort zone”, or even “perception is reality”.
Does it trigger an emotional reaction?
Who benefits from me buying in?
Does this really ring true for me? Even if the answer is “yes”, is it “ALWAYS, yes”?
If you take the examples from the first point, you can see how easily we can deconstruct them to find that there is little that is objectively, inherently or always true there. Intuition and its value is in the eye of the beholder. Growth can very much happen in the comfort zone, or any zone for that matter - no zone is off limits for growth. And, perception may colour our reality, but does it make it? Sometimes, maybe, but we need to be clear about what that truly means. If I perceive someone was late to a lunch date because they are inconsiderate, when in fact they were having car trouble, then what we’re really talking about is our subjective interpretations defining our personal realities.
Remember, just because you think it, doesn’t make it so. Just because someone writes something, doesn’t mean it’s the full story. And, just because it rhymes, doesn’t mean it’s true!
❂ Action: As you're going through the day, locate one proverb or "life advice" statement that sticks out to you. Use it to explore the reflection below.
❂ Reflection: Is extreme language used? Does it trigger an emotion within me? Who benefits from me buying into this? Is it true, or is it just one side of the story?