It is difficult to see things in this world as anything other than “this or that”. Our discomfort with the fullness of ideas and concepts can sometimes drive us to extremes; urging us to pick a side or see much of what surrounds us as inherently in conflict. In shadow work, it is important to try to see from all angles. A thing isn’t all good or all bad. We can explore the extremes of any situation, but we run into trouble when we deny that a spectrum exists.
When approaching a situation at the extreme end of its spectrum, we can experience division and conflict externally. This is because we have gone all the way to one side, thus denying the rightness of the other. On the other hand, when we hold two opposing viewpoints at once that appear opposite in nature, this too can cause conflict and division, though often internal. We call this the “divided mind”. Both of these circumstances can cause tension and discomfort. We like things to be nice and neat - simple and easy to digest. In life, things are often more complex.
Beyond this, paradox comes in when we have an idea or concept that has no apparent solution. For example, what is “nothing”? How can time and eternity exist simultaneously? Or, a more practical way to understand paradox is within our relationships and in looking at ourselves. Can someone be both kind and generous, as well as aggressive and quick to judge? Of course they can. Zen Koans or riddles can be useful in helping us relax into life’s paradoxes. They can show us that something can be many things all at the same time, and still be essentially true.
These ideas interact with shadow work because as we run into polarities, dualities and paradox, our psyches can work overtime to resolve, overturn or deny the tension it feels. In other words, they challenge our perspectives. If we aren’t ready to see all sides, it can lead to suppression, the birth of complexes or behaviours that act out as a response to the discomfort. It’s important to remain aware and attentive when this occurs. Our discomfort isn’t wrong, bad or something to feel guilty about. It is, however, something to be open to, curious about and willing to explore further.
“One day Banzan was walking through a market. He overheard a customer say to the butcher, ‘Give me the best piece of meat you have’. Everything in my shop is the best,’ replied the butcher. ‘You can not find any piece of meat that is not the best.’ At these words, Banzan was enlightened.”
❂ Reflection: What are two seemingly conflicting viewpoints that I hold simultaneously?
❂ Action: Consider something you feel very strongly about. Then, consider the other side of it and attempt to make an argument in favor of the opposing side.
❂ Draw A Card Prompt: How can I better accept, and relax into, the paradoxes of life?